For a few months now, I have been wondering from Home Stone to Home Stone trying to find some place that I fit in. A place where I feel accepted. A place where I can rp with others and not feel like I am in the way.
I joined a city at the end of Novemeber and took on the position of Head Scribe. The city was lovely and showed promise. But I still felt like something was missing. I noticed people stayed in their homes which is a huge pet peeve of mine. I stocked the shelves and sorted scrolls getting the library ready.
I watched the builders and city owners work out issues with buildings as they came about. I saw the addition of new buildings and new members that never seemed to come to the city. I grew more “lonely” with the lack of rp and those of the city. I decided to step down from my position and eventually left the city because of petty drama in December and soon after it closed.
I am left with the question… has gor changed or have I?
I find myself comparing everything and everyone to what was in Selnar. I miss the city and most of all I miss the people, free and slave. We were a close knit family working together to create greatness. It still saddens me to think of everyone off doing their own thing now and having no contact with each other.
Perhaps in the end it is not gor that has changed, perhaps it is myself who has changed. I no longer find enjoyment in gor rp.
A solution may be to take a break from this form of rp to find other avenues of enjoyment again.